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Helping in the home

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Do your kids a favour and make daily HELPING IN THE HOME a NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Recent changes in homework content have included the introduction of more life-skill activities, of which the completion of chores around the home is one. This came about due to input from parents who found the traditional academic homework activities to be overly challenging, and yet I frequently find that students do not tick off the ‘chores’ box on their homework grid.

When I ask them why this has not been completed, students will often say either, ‘I didn’t want to do it’ or ‘Mum doesn’t make me do that.’

Don’t think you’re doing your child a favour by letting them get away with this!!!

Children are experts at procrastination, excuses, resistance and refusal when it comes to chores, but remember that you are in charge, not them. Helping around the home should be a non- negotiable part of the daily routine for all children, even the very busy ones. To do chores willingly requires a responsible attitude, the ability to work independently to a task’s completion and an awareness of the needs of others. Children are not born with these traits; they develop gradually as they grow and mature and it is part of our job as parents to socialize our children by helping them to develop these desirable qualities.

Although insisting that chores be completed can be a never-ending battle and feel like you are constantly reminding, nagging, or imposing consequences to get your children to follow through, DON’T GIVE IN! They are waiting for you to do that and once you do, you have opened the door for it to happen time and time again.

Research indicates that children who participate in helping around the home have higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and are better able to deal with frustration and delay gratification, all of which contribute to greater success at school. Furthermore, research by Marty Rossman* shows that involving children in household tasks at an early age can have a positive impact later in life. In fact, says Rossman,

“the best predictor of young adults’ success in their mid-20’s was that they participated in household tasks when they were three or four.”

Doing chores gives a child the opportunity to give back to their parents for all that is done for them. Kids begin to see themselves as important contributors to the family and they feel a value-based connection to the family. Holding them accountable for their chores can increase their sense of responsibility, build their self-esteem and teach them not only actual skills but also the sense of achievement for a job well done.

One of the most frequently cited causes of over-indulged children is that parents do too much for their children and don’t expect enough of them. Not being taught the skills of everyday living can limit children’s ability to function at age appropriate levels and may cause them to develop an expectation of entitlement, a trait which is undesirable in all settings.

If the above-listed benefits are not enough to convince you, consider the fact that by enforcing rules and non-negotiable expectations you are setting your child up for success at school, in their social group and in the workplace, where again, these qualities are highly valued.

As a working mum, my children were required to help quite a lot at home. One of my daughters used to complain that she was the only child in her class who had to make her own lunch and do the ironing, but now, as a woman in her late twenties, she thanks me for making her so aware, so capable and so skilled.

As a parent it is not your job to be popular or liked. (My kids hated me for years!)

Be strong, don’t give in and support your children to develop the qualities that will help them to survive!